At Just the Right Time

In case you haven't heard the news, I am preparing to go to India on July 13, and I plan to stay for six months. I'm super excited about this, and would love to share all the details of how all this came to be and what I plan to do, but we'll save that for another post. Right now just take this bit of information as a backdrop for this post.

I don't remember a time in my life when I didn't want to get married. In fact, my whole-hearted desire for marriage and motherhood is a significant part of why it took me so long to settle on a major in college; they don't offer formal MRS degrees these days. The intensity of my desire has waxed and waned over the years. Some days I am perfectly content in what I hope to be a temporary call to singleness, and other days I beg God to just plop a man in my life who will love me till the end of time.

There's nothing like the prospect of leaving my family and all that is familiar to make me wish for a husband.

A big part of me is thankful for the gift of singleness which allows me to leave everything and traipse off to the other side of the world. But this other part of me, that longs for comfort and familiarity, wishes and prays there could be a husband at my side for this, or at least a boyfriend to come back to.

Sometimes the most gracious and kind response our Father can give us is "no," or "not right now." At the same time, He knows that our requests come from some sense of need, and does not leave us to fend for ourselves.

Rather than send a man into my life, the Lord chose to send a friend. Amy and I met about a decade ago and got along well from the start, but soon fell out of contact. Through an incredible chain of events, we met up last summer in Kolkata, and over the months since she returned from India our friendship has been renewed and deepened. As we've grown closer we've shared joys, victories, hurts, and insecurities, in a way that is deeply encouraging and soul-filling.

Last night it dawned on me that God put Amy and I back into each others' paths at just the right moment. I'm certain we could have been good friends years ago when we met, but God chose to use our shared love for India and for Him to cement our friendship, and he has used our friendship to encourage our hearts in a special way that we needed right now.

Isn't that just like our God? He's an in-the-moment God, and He makes no apologies about that element of His character.

Abraham was all set to sacrifice his only son, and at just the right time God provided a lamb to sacrifice in Isaac's place. Throughout the Israelites' wanderings in the desert, God provided just the right amount of food they needed, right when they needed it. Mirroring Abraham and Isaac, God sacrificed His only son "at just the right time."

As humans we have the ability to see patterns, and we also have the ability to understand the possibility of calamity. Rather than look to the pattern of God's character and his provision in the past, we look to the pattern of the world and expect that He will follow that pattern. When he does not provide when or how we want or expect, we become discouraged and doubt His goodness.

This is by no means a call to stop desiring or asking for good things. Rather, it is a call to "devote [our]selves to prayer, being watchful and thankful." I am still asking for a special someone to come home to, but that is certainly not where my hope lies. I know that my Father loves me, that if marriage is in His will for me, it will come at just the right time, and not a moment too soon. And I know that in the meantime, He will provide the encouragement I need for each day.